Duke vs. Link

[Blaze72]

They have all their weapons. Link is restricted from using any magical gauntlets and Duke is prohibited from using his shrink ray

who reigns supreme?

[The Big Daddy C-Master]

Sept 29, 2011 7:35:36 GMT -5 Blaze72 said:

They have all their weapons. Link is restricted from using any magical gauntlets and Duke is prohibited from using his shrink ray

who reigns supreme?

Duke has his freeze gun and devastator and the plasma canon.

[Frisky The Wolf Lord]

So, can like use the complete Triforce?

[Blaze72]

But does'nt that only work on evil beings or something unless i'm thinking of something else

Duke is far from being evil.

[The Big Daddy C-Master]

Oct 3, 2011 2:57:46 GMT -5 Blaze72 said:

But does'nt that only work on evil beings or something unless i'm thinking of something else

Duke is far from being evil.

Just infinitely badass.

[toobz]

Link wins. Let me explain. Link has this little thing called a magic cape. He can put it on and become completely invisible and invulnerable. He becomes literally intangible. If that's not enough, he's also got the HOOKSHOT. Don't know about it? Not surprised. Everyone who has ever been on the receiving end of it hasn't survived. Think you're manly? Yeah right. You'll be screaming for momma when you see the hookshot flying at your face and/or butt. I could go on, but this is total overkill already.

[The Big Daddy C-Master]

Oct 4, 2011 8:37:43 GMT -5 toobz said:

Link wins. Let me explain. Link has this little thing called a magic cape. He can put it on and become completely invisible and invulnerable. He becomes literally intangible. If that's not enough, he's also got the HOOKSHOT. Don't know about it? Not surprised. Everyone who has ever been on the receiving end of it hasn't survived. Think you're manly? Yeah right. You'll be screaming for momma when you see the hookshot flying at your face and/or butt. I could go on, but this is total overkill already.

Duke has the devastator. It shoots 99 missles in 10 seconds. He also has the plasma cannon and freeze ray. Poor Link.

[Dja Majista]

LOL I don't even need to say anything.


Understand? That means he's not dying. Pretty much ever. And that goes without saying he can fall into a bottomless pit and take only one heart of damage (without rolling). Try scaling that with ANYTHING ole dukey boy has. I GOT AN IDEA. What about an explosion... you know, like a rocket... TO THE FACE.





















Link just says "Oh looks like I'm running a little low on bombs (barely scraping by with a little less than 50). I better be a little more conservative, AND BLOW THIS THING UP ON MY FACE EVERY TIME I SEE A CRACK IN THE WALL."






Next on the list...

Oh duke is really fast huh? He can run around like a little bitch and Link won't never be able to follow him?



Uh huh.




Also, I think duke nukem actually needs the shrink ray in this fight if only to give him a fighting chance prior to being BRUTALLY PENETRATED by this.

"DONT LOOK AT ME."

It will be interesting to count exactly many times duke needs to resize our hero by a factor of 1/10 before he feels like a man again.



Oh I forgot to mention there's also this really weird thing in like ALL the games sodonteventrytotellmehecan'tdothis where link is invulnerable for 2 seconds every time he takes damage. lol machine guns lololol




"But duke has the plasma cannon. It's so powerful that it's like... well... YOUR MOM."

Yeah okay pal. Here's how it works. Duke pulls out plasma cannon. dukey charges his plasma cannon while running around like a little bitch. Link stands still with nothing but his stone cold poker face equipped. Duke gets excited and as usual releases a little early (NEW RECORD: 15 SECONDS). When suddenly...

















[obligatory suspense block]































Link turns around. Get wrecked.









NEXT ARGUMENT:
"LINK DOES NOT HAVE THE WEAPONS TO MATCH DUKE'S MIGHT-BE-OVERCOMPENSATING-FOR-SOMETHING ARSENAL OF MANLINESS."

Link doesn't need to rely on heavy duty rockets and lasers and shit. He's got his wits. Almost everything link owns is just a weapon by accident. Boomerang? It's just there so he can hit targets in dungeons. Bow and arrows? It's just there so he can hit targets in dungeons. I think I've made my point. Oh wait, he's also got a homing weapon with 100% stun chance.




bing. badda. boom.








Last one and I'm going to bed.
"Duke Nukem has tougher enemies. PIG COPS WITH SHOTGUNS??? I JUST PEED BLOOD"

Gentle duke lovers, heed this. What I am about to show you may shock you. What you are about to witness will alter your perception of reality itself. The very foundations of your world view, your naive scientific realism, your naturalism, your laws, are all about to be shaken to their very core. I present to you...














































The dreaded deku sprout, who's real name must NOT manifest itself in inscription nor in utterence ever. It's very existence is incomprehensible. This spawn of satan rose from under the dead carcass of the oldest most wise entity in all of hyrule, as if only to spite him. This hideously obese satan plant lives with almost no sunlight. It's only nourishment is the lush and holy ground of the great deku tree, to which it takes great pleasure in defiling. Its roots pulsate with evil, sweltering throughout the deepest riches of soil, blaspheming the fallen holy one who once guarded it. It rapes the land. And its gaze rapes the mind of those whose eyes it meets. Staring even at an empty depiction of it for too long will undoubtedly lead the beholder to the brink of insanity. But to meet its stare face to face... Souls have been consumed whole, naked, and screaming by the Horror of Kokiri. And what happens when link sees it? Yeah that's right...























They become great friends. WTF.

So basically, if you're completely retarded, and didn't understand a word of that, allow me to offer you a simple visual illustration:


Link: Expert-Grotesque-Pig-Handler Since 1986.











I would mention the fierce deity mask, but link can only use it in boss fights. yeah i went there







I'm on a horse.

[The Big Daddy C-Master]

Oct 8, 2011 3:02:49 GMT -5 Dja Majista said:

LOL I don't even need to say anything.


Understand? That means he's not dying. Pretty much ever. And that goes without saying he can fall into a bottomless pit and take only one heart of damage (without rolling). Try scaling that with ANYTHING ole dukey boy has. I GOT AN IDEA. What about an explosion... you know, like a rocket... TO THE FACE.





















Link just says "Oh looks like I'm running a little low on bombs (barely scraping by with a little less than 50). I better be a little more conservative, AND BLOW THIS THING UP ON MY FACE EVERY TIME I SEE A CRACK IN THE WALL."






Next on the list...

Oh duke is really fast huh? He can run around like a little bitch and Link won't never be able to follow him?



Uh huh.




Also, I think duke nukem actually needs the shrink ray in this fight if only to give him a fighting chance prior to being BRUTALLY PENETRATED by this.

"DONT LOOK AT ME."

It will be interesting to count exactly many times duke needs to resize our hero by a factor of 1/10 before he feels like a man again.



Oh I forgot to mention there's also this really weird thing in like ALL the games sodonteventrytotellmehecan'tdothis where link is invulnerable for 2 seconds every time he takes damage. lol machine guns lololol




"But duke has the plasma cannon. It's so powerful that it's like... well... YOUR MOM."

Yeah okay pal. Here's how it works. Duke pulls out plasma cannon. dukey charges his plasma cannon while running around like a little bitch. Link stands still with nothing but his stone cold poker face equipped. Duke gets excited and as usual releases a little early (NEW RECORD: 15 SECONDS). When suddenly...

















[obligatory suspense block]































Link turns around. Get wrecked.









NEXT ARGUMENT:
"LINK DOES NOT HAVE THE WEAPONS TO MATCH DUKE'S MIGHT-BE-OVERCOMPENSATING-FOR-SOMETHING ARSENAL OF MANLINESS."

Link doesn't need to rely on heavy duty rockets and lasers and shit. He's got his wits. Almost everything link owns is just a weapon by accident. Boomerang? It's just there so he can hit targets in dungeons. Bow and arrows? It's just there so he can hit targets in dungeons. I think I've made my point. Oh wait, he's also got a homing weapon with 100% stun chance.




bing. badda. boom.








Last one and I'm going to bed.
"Duke Nukem has tougher enemies. PIG COPS WITH SHOTGUNS??? I JUST PEED BLOOD"

Gentle duke lovers, heed this. What I am about to show you may shock you. What you are about to witness will alter your perception of reality itself. The very foundations of your world view, your naive scientific realism, your naturalism, your laws, are all about to be shaken to their very core. I present to you...














































The dreaded deku sprout, who's real name must NOT manifest itself in inscription nor in utterence ever. It's very existence is incomprehensible. This spawn of satan rose from under the dead carcass of the oldest most wise entity in all of hyrule, as if only to spite him. This hideously obese satan plant lives with almost no sunlight. It's only nourishment is the lush and holy ground of the great deku tree, to which it takes great pleasure in defiling. Its roots pulsate with evil, sweltering throughout the deepest riches of soil, blaspheming the fallen holy one who once guarded it. It rapes the land. And its gaze rapes the mind of those whose eyes it meets. Staring even at an empty depiction of it for too long will undoubtedly lead the beholder to the brink of insanity. But to meet its stare face to face... Souls have been consumed whole, naked, and screaming by the Horror of Kokiri. And what happens when link sees it? Yeah that's right...























They become great friends. WTF.

So basically, if you're completely retarded, and didn't understand a word of that, allow me to offer you a simple visual illustration:


Link: Expert-Grotesque-Pig-Handler Since 1986.











I would mention the fierce deity mask, but link can only use it in boss fights. yeah i went there







I'm on a horse.

Funny post. Made me chuckle. They both have powerful stuff at any rate.

[Blaze72]

Yeah but Link has fough the same pig so many times


its like that part from 'Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor'

Rick O'Connell: I've put down more mummies in my time.
Alex O'Connell: You've killed one mummy, dad.
Rick O'Connell: Yeah! Same mummy. *Twice*!

[The Big Daddy C-Master]

Oct 10, 2011 2:45:55 GMT -5 Blaze72 said:

Yeah but Link has fough the same pig so many times


its like that part from 'Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor'

Rick O'Connell: I've put down more mummies in my time.
Alex O'Connell: You've killed one mummy, dad.
Rick O'Connell: Yeah! Same mummy. *Twice*!

Duke smokes his enemies and does it like a King should.

Hail to the King Baby!!!

[Blaze72]

And can bench press 600 pounds.

[The Big Daddy C-Master]

I believe he did more than that one that demo back in 07.

[Dja Majista]

ROFL


It's like I don't even have to do anything. You guys can just dig his grave for me.

[Blaze72]

Oct 14, 2011 7:21:53 GMT -5 The Big Daddy C-Master said:

I believe he did more than that one that demo back in 07.

Sorry i forgot to put "over" 600 pounds got that one from the buttom of the screen in Forever


as for that picture thats been posted that may be...... but i doubt his shield could block bullets Duke will probably end up making a hole in it.

[Dja Majista]

lolwut?
Let me put this into perspective for you. Imagine you told me your alcohol tolerance is so high, you could drink five beers in just one hour and not get drunk. Then imagine i just whip out a bottle of Jack Daniels and down the whole fucking thing right in front of you, and then I just look at you like nothing happened. Your reply is something like, "I was just kidding. I can actually drink EVEN MORE than 5 beers and I still won't get drunk." What am I supposed to say to that? Nothing. I'm not gonna say anything.

as for that picture thats been posted that may be...... but i doubt his shield could block bullets Duke will probably end up making a hole in it.

I took the time to write this funny post and you just skim it. Turns out you don't even know what that whole section was talking about. You were gonna be my "A student" but now you have a D in reading comprehension. Sigh.

[The Big Daddy C-Master]

Duke teaches Link how to be a man.

Oct 14, 2011 23:45:40 GMT -5 Blaze72 said:

Oct 14, 2011 7:21:53 GMT -5 The Big Daddy C-Master said:

I believe he did more than that one that demo back in 07.

Sorry i forgot to put "over" 600 pounds got that one from the buttom of the screen in Forever


as for that picture thats been posted that may be...... but i doubt his shield could block bullets Duke will probably end up making a hole in it.

And Duke was just warming up.