Short Story Idea - Cara

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The Big Daddy C-Master
Big Daddy

Living life to the fullest, and it feels great.

I'm still here... for now...

Posts: 26,387

Short Story Idea - Cara Jan 6, 2016 3:46:04 GMT -5

Quote

Post by The Big Daddy C-Master on Jan 6, 2016 3:46:04 GMT -5

So you won't be updating this version? I was going to mention a few grammatical edits that could be done. If this is just a starting piece that you won't be adding to there's no need.

You don't have to censor anything writing wise. It's just when it comes to pictures and movies.

It wouldn't hurt to have more detail at the beginning and also are the terms "Mother" and "Daughter" supposed to be used as pronouns like as in clan names or something? Otherwise you can lower case that.

Am I getting the synopsis right? She's a lesbian vampire who was accused of murdering and raping her own family and is on the move?

"Never satisfied, never full, they eat and destroy with grubby hands until nothing is left but piss, but now the judgement of all humans has begun."

The Big Daddy C-Master Big Daddy Living life to the fullest, and it feels great. I'm still here... for now... Posts: 26,387	Short Story Idea - Cara Jan 6, 2016 17:12:10 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by The Big Daddy C-Master on Jan 6, 2016 17:12:10 GMT -5 You'll be fine, nobody will steal it. I like the concept so far but I needed to make sure that I had it right. We used to have quite a few writers here back in the day and I know Darkstorm does it.
	Last Edit: Jan 6, 2016 17:12:38 GMT -5 by The Big Daddy C-Master "Never satisfied, never full, they eat and destroy with grubby hands until nothing is left but piss, but now the judgement of all humans has begun."

The Big Daddy C-Master Big Daddy Living life to the fullest, and it feels great. I'm still here... for now... Posts: 26,387	Short Story Idea - Cara Jan 6, 2016 18:31:26 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by The Big Daddy C-Master on Jan 6, 2016 18:31:26 GMT -5 Monster jobbing, it happens all of the time. I myself tend to be on the werewolf side a bit more. Vampires are highly popular nowadays though.
	"Never satisfied, never full, they eat and destroy with grubby hands until nothing is left but piss, but now the judgement of all humans has begun."

The Big Daddy C-Master
Big Daddy

Living life to the fullest, and it feels great.

I'm still here... for now...

Posts: 26,387

Short Story Idea - Cara Jan 6, 2016 19:40:44 GMT -5

Quote

Post by The Big Daddy C-Master on Jan 6, 2016 19:40:44 GMT -5

Jobbing just means the characters start to become weaker to make another character look good. It happens all the time with powerful villains or if the main character is outnumbered and the enemies become cannon fodder, etc.

"Never satisfied, never full, they eat and destroy with grubby hands until nothing is left but piss, but now the judgement of all humans has begun."

The Big Daddy C-Master Big Daddy Living life to the fullest, and it feels great. I'm still here... for now... Posts: 26,387	Short Story Idea - Cara Jan 6, 2016 19:44:50 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by The Big Daddy C-Master on Jan 6, 2016 19:44:50 GMT -5 Was there a power upgrade?
	"Never satisfied, never full, they eat and destroy with grubby hands until nothing is left but piss, but now the judgement of all humans has begun."

The Big Daddy C-Master Big Daddy Living life to the fullest, and it feels great. I'm still here... for now... Posts: 26,387	Short Story Idea - Cara Jan 7, 2016 0:23:57 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by The Big Daddy C-Master on Jan 7, 2016 0:23:57 GMT -5 Gotcha.
	"Never satisfied, never full, they eat and destroy with grubby hands until nothing is left but piss, but now the judgement of all humans has begun."

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